Choosing to educate my children at home is a radical, out-of-the-box, and arguably strange decision to some people. It’s a decision I made with more than a little fear and trepidation. I thought about it, prayed about it, fought it, denied it, avoided it, put it off, researched it, defended it and for whatever reason, finally gave in to the fact that my children didn't fit in a normal school setting.

Homeschooling my children has been relatively smooth. I began last year when I realized my daughter was struggling in school and not getting the individual attention she needed. She and private Christian school did not fit well together. At home, she and I worked well together last year and I got her back on track academically. This year, my son decided he wanted to homeschool as well. I had planned on sending my little one to Kindergarten but her school closed two weeks before school started. Thus, I am homeschooling three children this school year.

My son is a gifted child and very easy to teach. The only issues I am having with him at the moment is he just simply doesn't want to do the work. My little one is also extremely easy to teach. She is excited to learn whatever I present to her. It is actually very rewarding to sit with her and watch her little eyes light up with joy and discovery.

My daughter, however, is another story. While she and I had a great rhythm going last year, she has been completely derailed this year with her siblings home. Especially in math.

When explaining new concepts and teaching my daughter, it’s easy to assume that there is an unobstructed pipeline between me and her. I explain something—like the concept that “subtraction is the opposite of addition” or "subtraction is the difference"—and I expect that she will automatically file that little tidbit of information away and remember it in the future (or the present would be lovely as well). I assume that, since I taught it, she will “get it,” and my work will be done. (because it was and is that easy to teach my son)

As nice as that would be, it isn’t always the case in real life. Sometimes I feel as though my daughter just isn’t “getting it,” or I worry that the lesson went right over my her head. Or through her head and out her ears or eyeballs. I look at her and I know she has no clue what I'm trying to teach her. Even though we've been doing it for months, even though it is an already learned skill.

She is struggling with whatever curriculum I present to her. She struggles no matter the manipulative I incorporate. I am at a loss where to head with her. I don't even like to bring up math to her anymore and if she even sees a math book, she usually starts to cry.

I think we are at a point in homeschooling that I need to get my daughter a math tutor. My teaching style is very much auditory. While I have not quite grasped what my daughter's learning style is, I think a math tutor will be able give me more insight on this issue.

le sigh.